Unable To Let Go
by SweetMortal21
Summary: Bella wants to move on,yet Jacob her best friend,seems to be holding her back. No matter how hard she tries to forget about her hidden feelings for him,she some how cant.romance/dramma/fighting/and more. Takes place after New Moon. dont forget to review!
1. photo

**.:For those who are reading I do not own Twilight or nor the rest of the saga. Please enjoy the writing you are about to read, And don't forget to review!!!!:.**

**Chapter one…**

**Bella's PROV.**

I tried my best to have both of them apart of my life. But there are times where you have no choice but to pick only one. What was I to do. _Edward_, the love of my life, who always had a grip on my heart. My future, whom I was to spend the rest of my life with, and my dream that had finally came true. Or _Jacob_, my sun, when my days where cloudy and grey. My healer, when I was broken with only confusion to run my mind. And my friend, who was, and always will be apart of my heart and soul. This was too much for me. Just thinking about it gave me a headache. I got up from my bed and made my way to the bathroom hoping to find some aspirins.

"Dad!" I called out as I went through the shelf. Finding a small white container I sighed in relief.

"Never mind!" The pills were small making them easier to swallow. After taking two I headed back to my room. I couldn't help but fix my bed, even though I was only going to mess it up again. It was hard to keep the two out my mind, first Edward then Jacob going back and forth as they fought. No matter what I was doing or if I was asleep or not, they were constantly on my mind. Turning my dreams into the same nightmares every time. You would think that they would get less frightening but they only got worse as the two fought to the death. Edward was out hunting for the weekend, leaving Alice to watch over me. _and Jacob_… I sighed. Tomorrow was the day he would reply. Every Friday it was. After fixing my bed for the third time today, I sat on it, brushing my feet along the floor. A soft thump was made as my heel smacked something that was sticking out from underneath. _'what's this…'_ I thought leaning over to examine what it was. There in front of me lied an old shoe box, covered in dust and dirt. Slowly I grabbed it feeling a bit of weight as I pulled it up to the bed. Something was inside, and it was a bit heavy. Shaking the box I could hear the small things hidden inside. There were many, like cards or letters.

Blowing the dust and dirt off from the top I slowly lifted the lid, a bit curious of what was in it. My eyes widen just a bit as I seen the photos that lied inside . These weren't just any photos, they were photos of me and Jacob. From when we were kids making mud pies in the back yard at Billy's, to the day I moved to forks not to long ago. More memories ran through my head, yet they were different. These memories made me smile slightly, bringing a bit of joy to my mood. Picking up the large stack of pictures I began to go through them taking my time to look over each memory. The closer I got to the end the more guilty I felt. Before I found out Jacob was a wolf things were just so _easy._ I felt like I could breath without having to remind myself. I never-we never thought, because we always knew. About everything. We had nothing to worry about, other then when we were going to hang out. But now… things between us have slowly drifted away. And its all my fault. Warm salty tears ran down my pink cheeks, dripping over the single picture I cherished the most. My smile widen as I gazed into the photo. It was me and Jacob covered in oil as we laughed about how each other looked.

"…Ugh, look what I've done" I told my self placing the stack gently in the box as if I could break it or shatter it some how. Sliding it back under my bed I went over to the window. The tears continued to shed slowly, so I didn't waist my time whipping them away. Charlie must have still been downstairs, but I wasn't sure since I heard no movement. I wanted to check on him, to make sure he didn't have a stroke or a heart attack, but I couldn't let him see me like this. Sighing I decided to wait awhile. As soon as my tears stopped I would head down stairs.

**Jacobs PROV.**

The black pen between my fingers continued to tap as I thought about what I would write. I starred at the blank piece of line paper that lied in front of me on the kitchen table. My patients grew weaker and weaker by the minute as my knee bounced violently. Writing was something I despised, the only reason I was doing it was because of Bella. I began to argue with myself out loud getting angrier but the second.

"…this is stupid, we're not a bunch kids anymore!…" I paused for a moment then began to write down what I had just said.

_**Bells!**_

_**This is stupid, we're not kids anymore! And I feel guilty making Billy drive all the way over there just to give you some note, when you can just come over to the reservation like you used to!…**_

I lifted my pen and sighed as I thought about what I was going to put down next. Many things ran through my head making it harder and harder to concentrate. I could hear Billy on the phone talking to Charlie. And the pack out side arguing over something stupid._ '…calm it Jake…' _I thought to myself as I took a deep breath in. Releasing the air I pulled in, I forced myself to relax and continue what I had started.

A few minutes later I had finally finished my letter. I took my time folding it neatly as possible feeling the dents that were made by the small black pen. It had been months now since I've seen Bella. It was still hard to believe that things were going great before he showed up again. If she would've never jumped from that cliff that leach would've never had that stupid vision in the first place.

"damn!…" I yelled pounding my fist onto the table in front of me. Every one stared as the pack came in._ 'great…all eyes on me…just what I need'. _

"you okay Jacob,…something bothering you?" Billy asked as he hung up the phone quietly. He made his way over to the kitchen table where I was along with Sam. Worry and confusion filled their eyes making me feel stupid. Sliding the folded note off the table I stood up.

"…Here, this is Bella's. I'm going outside to the shed…if you need anything, just holler" I said keeping my eyes to the ground as I handed him the note. Once Billy took it, I made my way out the front door letting it slam behind me. No matter how hard I fought, no matter how hard I tried to explain to her, about how I truly felt. It wasn't enough…and it never will be by the looks of it. I jumped in the rabbit that sat in the shed, not in the mood to drive. All I wanted to do was sit there and think. Think about how things will be as days pass.

"UGH!" I groaned throwing myself back into my seat. Lifting my head a small piece of paper came floating down like a soft feather. Landing face down I couldn't help but pick it up. A slight smile slowly made its way to my face. Every bit of anger, every bit of pain, every negative feeling that I felt slowly drifted off into the cool air as nothing but joy fill me. The precious memory that lied in the palm of my hand made my day. Turning the same frown for the past few months, upside down. Seeing me and Bella covered in oil made me think, of how thing were before this chaos was revealed.

"Oh I how I wish things were the same…." I muttered to myself placing the picture in the glove compartment. _Bella…my Bella…._


	2. unexpected visitor

**.:For those who are reading, I do not own Twilight or the rest of the saga. Hope you enjoy the writing your about to read and don't forget to review:.**

**Chapter Two…**

**Bella's PROV.**

Seeing Charlie's car already in parked the drive way made me smile just a bit. But that smile quickly vanished when I remembered what the date was._ Friday _I thought taking a deep breath as I cut off the engine. Once it was completely off I made my way to house slamming my trucks door as lightly as possible.

"I'm home!" I yelled closing the front door quietly. Charlie stepped out of the kitchen with a small folded piece of paper in his hands. I threw my keys to the counter next to me as well as my jacket, eyeing the note. Charlie pulled his hand back as soon as he seen me reach for it. I dropped my hand and sighed, hoping he would make his speech quick.

"How long do you plan on doing this Bella?" He asked in his concerned voice. I shrugged looking away from him.

"Why don't you just ask Jacob…" I replied a bit harsh. I was still mad about the whole situation thing. But even though I was mad, I still felt guilty at the same time. It wasn't fair blaming it on Edward, nor was it his fault, which was, why I felt guilt as well. Because the way I said it made it sound like it _was_ his fault. Charlie shook his head as he handed me the piece of paper before making his way to the couch. A sigh escaped my lungs while I examined the note that was being pinched between my two fingers. I looked back at Charlie for a moment before running up the staircase. My hands started to shake a bit, wondering what Jacob had wrote. What did he say? Was it bad? And if so, how bad?.

My heart raced as I closed my bedroom door behind me. I took a seat on the bed and began to unfold the it. _' he must have been mad?…' _I thought to myself as I ran my fingers along the back. You could see the dents in the paper as the pen met it. If Jacob would have pressed any harder he would have torn the page apart. Taking another deep breath I flipped it over so that it was right side up and facing me.

_**Bells!**_

_**This is stupid, we're not kids anymore! And I feel guilty making Billy drive all the way over there just to give you some note, when you can just come over to the reservation like you used to!…I know I know, "Why don't I just go over there?". Bella I know your still upset at me but have you ever took the time to think about how I feel. Its not that I'm mad at you because of 'him' but because you spending most of you time hanging around 'them'. Have you forgotten about what I told you? Maybe that should give you a clue on why I cant go over there. You have no idea how much it kills me not to see you. I'm not sure if I can do this any longer…passing notes every two weeks. If you willing to spend you whole life with your blood sucker. Fine, I'm not stopping you. But it would be nice to think about you friends for once maybe even let them be apart of you life as well …**_

_**yours truly, Jacob….**_

Every word was like a knife through my heart. It was written with so much anger and so much pain, That it cause me to slide of the bed and onto the floor. Even though it hurt me, it was all true. I never took the chance to realize how badly he felt. He gave me so much, and was willing to get nothing in return. How far have I pushed myself away from friends especially him, my best friend? I held the piece of paper in both hands with my back leaning agenst the bed. Slowly I pulled my knees toward my chest hiding my face from everything that surrounded me. _I'm the monster in this…._

"Bella…Bella some ones here to see you!" Charlie said through the door in front of me.

'…_Edward…' _I thought as I quickly got up from the floor. Whipping the salty tears from my face I placed the note on my bed tossing a pillow over it to hide it from him or at least try.

"Um tell him to come in…" I said keeping my back toward the door. I knew Edward would be worried, But it was Charlie's expression I didn't want to see. The door opened slowly, and was closed at the same quietly. Running my hand through my hair I sighed.

"Bella…." My heart froze completely. It wasn't Edward who called out my name but _Jacob…_

I couldn't move. My whole body was froze and my head was spinning. Thoughts passes her and there. Why was he here? What did he want? Was this some kind of…_goodbye?_

"Bella…you okay? Should I go?" He asked, yet I didn't reply. I shook my head, knowing that if I spoke I would break down then and there. I waited for a moment taking in a deep breath as my tears began once again.

"…J-Jacob…" I stuttered my voice shaky and weak. My hands curled into mall fist as I held my in my tears from pouring down. I Gazed out the window in front of me seeing his reflection mixed with the pouring outside. I could tell how he felt his expression was so blank. Slowly I turned around keeping my eyes on the ground. Jacob walked closer to me, taking each step with the same amount of caution. I couldn't help but take a quick glance at him. Once I did I quickly moved my eyes to the ground. He was bare half naked wearing nothing but a pair of shorts. With no warning he grabbed a whole of my wrist pulling me into a hug. Jacob embraced me with the right amount of force. His warm skin agenst my cold wet cheeks felt good. My body was now warm for the first time in a long time and my heart and soul were complete once again. I loosened my arms wrapping then around him, pulling him closer while digging my nails into his brown skin. Even though I drew a bit of blood he didn't care. _Jacob…._

**Jacobs PROV.**

I held her close, close to my heart and close to my soul. Once Billy told me what Charlie had said, it was the perfect time to see her. Plus knowing the Edward was going to be gone for one more day made me feel relieved. The smell of her tears made me a bit angry. And it wasn't because of him, it was because of me. I could see the note hidden underneath the pillow on the bed. _'…I'm so sorry…' _I thought to myself as I rested my cheek on her head. I could feel the warm blood as it ran down my back yet I felt no pain beside Bella's. Pulling back I lifted her chin, forcing her to look at me. Her eyes were a reddish pink color and they were puffy from the tears that had stained her cheeks.

"Hey, you going to be okay?…" I asked keeping my voice soft and smooth as possible.

"I-I-I'm…." Bella paused for a moment then finished with a nod. The way she looked at me, told me she wasn't in the mood to talk or at least not now. Smiling I held her close again. No matter how much I tried to keep my self from falling for her, I couldn't help but love her more. '…_but I promised to protect her, either from danger…or her pain…'. _Stroking her brown hair I sighed quietly.

"I'm sorry Jake, what you wrote was right. I was pushing my friends away especially you and in sorry. I feel like the monster in the this story! I'm horrible" she spoke lifting her head to look at me. I shook my head pushing back hair that got in her face.

" No your not! So quite saying you are.". I snapped. It was silent for a good long moment as we listened to the thunder and lightly out side. Her words stung me as she spoke, making me worry. It would have been better if she would've kept quiet instead of ruining the moment. Pulling away I towered over her, placing my hands on her shoulder.

"listen to the rain…" I said looking over to the window. "that was you just now, crying"

Bella smiled as she pushed me a bit. "shut up,…" she said with a chuckle as she went over to her bed. I followed, sitting at the end. We starred at each other for a while, letting our thoughts speak for there selves. Bella stood up pulling a shoe box from underneath her bed. Placing it in front of me she smiled.

"open it,…" she said. I lifted a brow as I looked at her. Shaking the box I removed the lid.

"its nothing but a box filled with picture." I sad confused by what she was trying to she me. Bella moved closer to where I was, picking up the stack of photo's that lied in the box.

"of who…?" she asked passing them over to me. I went through a few of them seeing us when we were younger. _'…of us…'_I thought as a smile appeared on my face. Seeing the same picture I had in the rabbit I laughed along with Bella. There was always something special about the small photo, yet we didn't know what it was. I turned my head to see her starring at me straight in the eyes. Pain was what she felt. It was written all over her face.

"what-" I was cut off by the familiar cent of a certain blood sucker. Quickly I stood up handing Bella the stack of pictures.

"I have to go,…" I said as I headed down the steps.

"wait! What's wrong?" she asked following me. The disgusting smell got stronger by the second. Making me tremble with anger.

"Its that damn leach, looks like your Alice told him I was here" I growled facing her for a moment then back at the front door. Bella ran in front of me blocking from the door. A knock was heard at the door, making me tremble even more. She opened the door and smiled. Rolling my eyes I gave her a hug.

"bye bells" my voice a bit harsh as I made my way out.


	3. the begining of a new feeling

.:For those who are reading, I do not own twilight nor the rest of the saga. Hope you enjoy the reading and don't forget to review! XD:.

Chapter three…

Jacobs PROV.

Getting to reservation I decided to transform not caring if others were watching. with a slight push from my feet, I leaped into the nights air. Legs lengthening, hair sprouting, muscle rippling, jaws snapping. With a ferocious speed that human eyes would've missed. I ran faster and faster, pushing myself more and more as I bolted my way through the forest in front of me darting through the tree's._ 'No matter how much I tried…I cant seem to get more the 10 minutes with her…Damn it! Why is it that every time I show up to see her he wants to come back?' _I thought to myself growling as well. Looking up I noticed the beauty of the full moon. I couldn't help but slow myself down and stare. _' …I could've gave her what she wanted, what she needed. I would've been perfect for her…She should've been mine…'_

Once Again my thoughts completely took over. Taking a seat on the cold and wet grass I let out a painful howl towards the moon, then growled viciously as I thought about what they could be doing at the moment. My teeth were partly bare as I thought about how much I would enjoy digging my fangs into the leaches neck. My body had slowly relaxed on its own, giving me the chance to actually breath correctly. I wasn't ready to go home though. Not yet at least. The heavy rain felt good against my reddish brown pelt. And the thundering of the storm made me more energetic that usual.

All I wanted to do at the moment was run away. Run away and never return. Get as far away as possible, where the pack nor that blood sucker, couldn't hear my thoughts. Things would probably be easier, less painful. And I wouldn't have to feel so much anger not only toward the vampires Bella loved but toward myself. Glancing once more at the bright moon above I sighed, and continued to run, yet it was more peaceful and not as fast.

**Bella's PROV.**

"I'll meet you in my room…" I whispered as I glanced back at Charlie who was watching the game in the living room. Sighing I shut the door lightly knowing that this wasn't a goodbye for me and Edward. It would have been nice, to have a few more minutes with Jacob though. Just to talk to him, catch up on everything we missed out on.

"I'm going to sleep dad" I said looking at Charlie with a slight smile before making my way up the stair case. Getting to my room I seen Edward in the far corner starring at me with a concern look. I closed the door behind me then headed over to my bed. Seeing his face While thinking of Jacob made me feel guilty, if I though about Edward, it made me seem like a bad friend. But if I thought about Jacob it was the other way around. There was no escaping this horrible feeling.

"What is it my love? I'm sorry if I ruined your time with Jacob-" I cut him off as I shook my head. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't anybody's fault but mine.

"No, Edward its fine, he was already leaving before you even came…". What I said was mostly true. Jacob was already leaving before Edward had shown up. The beautiful yet mysterious vampire, I fell in love with, made his way to my bed, smiling my favorite crooked smile as he looked at me. Edward tucked me in throwing his self on the other side of me in less then a second. He held me close to his solid body, kissing my forehead with his cold lips. Moving them toward mine a vicious chill ran up my spine, making me free from thoughts. He continued to kiss me with the same amount of Caution, knowing his limit. Everything was going so smoothly until I decided to my eyes. On the other side of the room stood the tall, tan familiar face. His chocolate eyes filled with nothing but pain and anger. His hands were in tight fist as his half naked body trembled violently.

…_Jacob…_ I thought pulling away slowly from Edwards kiss for the first time.

"What is it Love, is something wrong?." He asked looking at me with a confused look. I glanced at him for a moment seeing his expression before looking back to where Jacob had stood. He was gone. Nothing but wall came to sight. Running my hand through my hair I sighed. _'this cant be happening…not now…' _I thought. Edward brushed his could yet smoothed fingers along my cheek bone, starring into my eyes making me melt into his.

"Bella what's wrong?" He asked his voice soft like a whisper yet curious by my actions. I shook my head as I pushed myself against his cold, stone like chest. Edward stroked my hair making chills run through me again. I didn't mind his cold temperature, it was sort of soothing for me, yet at the moment as I thought about Jacob, it was like all I could feel was the warmth of his beautiful body. Slowly I fell asleep, hoping I wouldn't say anything stupid in my nightmare.


	4. nightmare to reality

**.:I do not own twilight, nor the rest of the saga. Enjoy the writing and don't forget to review!!!:.**

**Chapter four…**

**Bella's PROV.**

"NO!" I yelled my eyes fully opened. My breathing was rough, and I was shaking uncontrollably. Sweat ran down my forehead as I sat up. I glanced out side watching as the stars slowly began to vanish. Same nightmare, yet it always seems to scare me more and more each time. By the looks of it, Edward must have left during the night seeing that he wasn't here beside me. I looked over at my bedroom door and sighed as I got up. Once I wake up there's no going back to sleep. Changing into a pair of jeans and a sweater I walked over toward the window. Charlie's car was gone, which explained why he didn't come up when I yelled. Making my way down the stairs a soft knock was at the door. It was still early making me curious of who could be visiting at a time like this. Opening it I smiled to see the beautiful face in front of me.

"Good morning love, I see your up early" Edward said Smiling peacefully. Slowly I stood on my toes asking for a kiss which he gave me. Pulling back I smiled.

"Good morning…" I replied in a whisper like tone. Once he shut the front door behind him, I made my way to the kitchen, keeping his hand in mine as I pulled him along.

"What are your plans for today Miss swan?.." He asked with my favorite crooked smile.

He was so dazzling I couldn't help but stare.

"I don't-" I was cut off by the phone's ring. "Hold on…."

Grabbing the phone I looked back at him and smiled. "Hello?" I asked waiting for a response. I leaned against the counter, twirling my finger through the cord.

" 'Morning Bella, just calling to see if you knew where Jacob was at. The last time I seen him he was going to your place." It was Billy on the other line. He wasn't worried ,but I was. Edward moved closer to me placing his hands on my shoulders.

"N-no I don't know where he's at… Wh-why what's wrong?" I hesitated my voice filled with worry and curiosity. I looked up at Edward then back to the cord in front of me.

"Nothings wrong, I was just wondering where he was at that's all,…But don't worry Bella I'm sure he's fine. Well I better be going, by Hun". Billy Hung up leaving me with nothing but the thought of something bad happening to Jacob. _this nightmare better not become reality…_I thought hanging up the phone. I took a deep breath in then turned to face Edward.

"Everything all right?" he asked in a soft tone. I nodded, not really sure myself as I began to make some toast. A cold, uncomfortable feeling ran through me, like I _knew_ something was going to happen. Something bad. And what ever it was Jacob had something to do with it. Edward wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. It was and to be in someone's and yet think about the other person.

…_Jacob…_

**Jacob's PROV.**

Waking up I noticed I was still in my Wolf form. Yawning I began to stretch. I must have went far from home by the new smell that surrounded me. I shook off the loose hairs from my pelt ands sighed. '_Jacob where are you?' _Sam thought as he entered my mind for a moment. _'I'm not sure but I'm-' _I was cut off by the horrible scent as it ticked my noise. My body stiffened and my ear went back. There were many, and they were all new born's. six of them, I was guessing.

'_Jacob,…Jacob what is it?' _Sam thought again. asking in a demanding tone. A low growl escaped my chest as I examined my surroundings.

'_there's new, I say about six…who knows maybe more…" _Taking a step beck the smell grew stronger as if more came. Sam didn't respond to what I had said making thing worse. It seemed that more showed up from six to twelve in minutes. There were too many for me to take, knowing how strong they would be at the moment. Without a second thought I ran back, full speed. I pushed myself yet the stench grew. They were gaining on me!

"_Sam!" _I yelled in my thoughts. Blurs surrounded me as they caught up. I had to quite running. If I didn't I would have a better chance of dieing. I skidded my way to a stop barely hitting the tree on the other side of me. I growled more viciously with my teeth bare completely.

'_Jacob! Jacob run! keep running we're coming !' _I shook my head snarling at his idea.

'_no Sam, I cant. If I run I'll die! Ill hold them off as best as I can just…just HURRY!' _I thought once more As I pounced on the leaches in front of me. Knowing they had no experience in fighting gave me just a bit of hope, as well as the thought of Bella.

I could hare Sam and the rest of the pack in my head as they ran toward my direction, though I couldn't make out the words. And I sure didn't try too. But once I heard her name in Leah's mouth, I growled, forgetting about the vampires for a moment.

'_What about bell-' _I was cut off as one of the new borns threw me to a tree I winced in pain but growled in anger….

.:...**chapter five wont take long,....:.**


	5. alone

**.: For those who are reading. Um sorry chapter five was posted late, my comp. wasn't really working correctly. But be glad because this is the longest one I made so far. I do not own twilight nor the rest of the saga. Enjoy the writing and don't forget to review!:.**

**Chapter five**

**Jacob's PROV.**

…Their red eye glared at me, as I struggled to get myself up. Ignoring the pain I ran full speed toward the vampire closest to me. Once he was down I snapped at his neck, forcing my fangs to go through his rock hard skin. I kicked a few here and there yet there were too many surrounding me. I gave up on trying to kill the one I pinned down and decided to get out before I was screwed for sure. They came at me fast hitting me so hard I couldn't help but whine. I leaped into the air landing some where far from the large group. I began to limping, leaving a trail of blood as I growled.

The pain was too much. I could see a blur of white as another came full speed at me, slamming me into a much larger tree then before.

_SNAP! _Was the sound I heard as I slid down. My ribs were now shattered. I struggled to free myself, but the leach had me pinned pretty well . My eyes widen as he leaned closer to my face. The smile that appeared on his face frighten me. Was this the end of me?….No. I couldn't give up. Not now, not ever. Kicking him off with the last bit of strength in me, familiar growled came in hearing. '_Jacob! Jacob stay with us…don't you…' _Sam's voice faded off as I slowly fell unconscious.

**Bella's PROV**

"What! No…I-I-I, No!" I couldn't speak at the moment knowing Jacob could be dieing at this point. Grabbing my keys off the counter in front of me I head toward the door, hoping to find my best friend still _alive._ Edward made it to the door in less then a second, blocking it so that I couldn't leave.

"Bella no is right, If you want ill go and see what I can do, but you, Your staying!." His voice was strong with hint of anger. Edward turned to walk out, but I held him back by grabbing his cold hand.

"I want to go" I demanded walking closer to him. He sighed letting go of the door knob with his other hand.

"Bella love, its too dangerous. Alice told me there we're many. If I loose you…" Another sigh escaped his lungs as he turned to face me. Dropping his eyes to the ground he spoke once more.

"Bella your staying here and that's final, I'll-" I cut him off before he could finish.

"Well then drop me off at the reservation with Billy. I'll be safe there…please Edward…" I begged keeping my voice soft and gentle. if Jacob was still _okay_ then that would be the first place he would go. Edward waited for a moment before answering. His expression was smooth but blank. I wasn't sure what his answer might be.

"Fine…." he whispered turning back to the door. "But you stay with Billy you hear?" Edward looked over his shoulder at me waiting for a response. I could tell he wasn't comfortable with the idea, but I had no choice. This was my friend we were talking about. Nodding we made our way out and to the Volvo. He made it to the passengers side in a flash opening it for me to get in. once I did, he closed it lightly then made it to his side in less then a second.

"Seat belt…" he spoke as he started the engine. Once the belt clicked we left the house. It wasn't long till we got the reservation. Not a word was spoken on the way there. The only thing on my mind was my friend…my _best friend…_

"thank you…and be safe…" I said looking over at him with a slight smile. Waiting he didn't reply. His face was still blank and unreadable making my frown. As I opened I stepped out.

"Bella…" Edward called out as his door opened. I looked over only to find him next to me. With a soft and gentle kiss, he smiled my favorite crooked smile. I couldn't help but smile back.

"…you, be safe…I'll be fine,,," he said pulling back a stand of hair behind my ear. A chill ran up my back once we touched skins. I nodded and headed to Billy's. As I thought about what the situation and my nightmare, I noticed that things connected. Realizing that my nightmare was the situation. I began to worry more, making me run toward the blacks.

'_Jacob please be safe….'_

I knocked on the screen door many time, as I thought about the possibilities of Jacob being dead. I continued to knock until a voice spoke up.

" Bella?" Billy asked as he rolled his way toward the door. Opening it I took a step in.

"W-where's Jacob? Is he okay? Is he here? Please tell me he's alright?" So many questions yet none of them could be answered.

"I'm not sure…Sam and every one went back to check on-"He was cut as Embry and Quil came walking in, along with Jacob, who had nothing on. I quickly turned around as my with my face bright red.

"There were so many, luckily we made it in time, or else he would have been gone" Embry spoke as they dragged Jacob to his room. Billy followed, but I decided to stay in the living room. Once I heard the door shut I turned back around only to find a trail of blood that followed the four. I worried once again forgetting about the fact that he was still breathing. I wanted to go and check on him but didn't want to intrude. Everything was silent for a moment, like waiting in the hospital. I took a seat on the small couch made for two. Waiting for a sign, waiting for my friend.

"AHH!" A familiar voice cried. I could take the waiting any longer. Heading for Jacobs room another cry was heard.

"damn those leaches piss me off! Every single-AHH!"

I swung the door open, watching as every ones eyes laid on me. The one who caught mine was Jacob. Shaking my head a bit I headed to the bed he was on, relieved that he had shorts on. I stopped after a few steps as my mouth opened slightly, yet nothing came out. Scars laid over his chest and neck as well as his arms and legs. And on top of that he had a large purple spot on his ribs. Quil, Embry and Billy left the room in silence leaving only me and Jacob behind. Once the door closed I couldn't help but let the tears fall. Jacob eyes were barely open and his breathing was way too slow. He slowly held out his hand wincing in pain.

"…Bella…" he spoke in a whisper tone. I kept my distance, knowing that he was in pain.

I wanted to speak. I wanted to ask him if he was going to be okay. But for some reason I couldn't. nothing would come out.

"Bella….come…come here please…" He spoke again keeping his hand out to me. Slowly I walked closer taking it with as much caution as I could. He pulled me even closer keeping a weak smile on his face as if things were alright. He sat me on the bed as well, slowly wrapping his arm around my waist. I didn't bother to yell at him, or say something about it after seeing how much pain he was in. My tears continued to fall, landing on his bare chest.

"Bella stop crying…there's nothing to cry about" he spoke softly looking up at the ceiling.

"But you…Jacob look at you!" I said my voice cracking. Without a second thought I ran my hands along his chest feeling the healed wounds that had turned into faded scars.

As I made my way to the large bruise on his ribs he winced in pain moving away my hand. I got scared for a moment getting ready to leave. As I moved to stand he I couldn't help but to say "sorry" .Jacob held me down with arm that was wrapped around my waist. I noticed that my right hand was still in his, getting warmer by the second.

"…Don't be Bells, I'm fine…" he said turning his head to face me. He smiled again a little brighter then before. How was I not to smile. I lifted my feet of the floor placing them next to his.

"…Why did you…What were you…"I sighed knowing I couldn't nor wouldn't finish what I had started.

"…they showed up first Bella, and they were new borns making them twice as fast and twice as strong. I tried to get away but they were to many…" he explain. "…do me a favor and stop you worries." he chuckled lightly as he continued to stare at me.

I looked a him with a straight face.

"…well what am I suppose to do Jake?…I nearly had a heart-" I was cut off by him as he spoke.

"…Bella enough with the lies, we all know you didn't worry that much." he said.

His words hit me hard as he looked away.

"…What about that Cullen of yours? shouldn't you be worried about him? He was the last I heard before I left the fight completely."

"…but I'm not. Or at least not as much as I am about you…"

**Jacobs PROV.**

I didn't face her as she spoke. Instead I gripped her hand and kept my eyes facing the window.

"…your cold…" I said still whispering. She began to move, making me wonder if she was leaving or not. I turned to face her seeing that she was lying down. I was lost in her eyes as she placed her head on my shoulder. I slowly ran my hand up her side and up to her shoulder. I was surprised that she didn't hit me or at least try to yell at me. We stayed silent for a while, starring at each other with apologetic expressions. It made me feel good, knowing that she was worried about me, yet I couldn't fully believe it. She smiled at me making me smile back. My body felt numb at the moment. Not a hint of pain came to me.

The feeling of Bella in my grasp made every other problem vanish like dust. Her heart beat was so soothing, almost like a lullaby. As much as I wanted to kiss her, or even hold her the way a _living_ being is supposed to hold her…I didn't.

"What…what hurt's the most?" She asked breaking the silence. she looked down at the large bruise that covered half of my ribs on my right side..

"…pretty much that…" I chuckled.

"…I'm really sorry, I'll make it up to you, really!". I shook my head.

"no, don't be…its not you fault… and you don't have to do anything. I'm fine Bella, ever since you came I feel a lot better…thank you" sighing I looked up at the ceiling smiling. Once again things got silent yet this time it was shorter.

"…I should go, looks like you need some rest.". Once she sat up I decided to pull her down I wasn't ready for her to leave yet. but then again when will I ever be?

"…stay with me…please…." I asked loosing my grip on her wrist. She looked away before nodding. Placing her head on my shoulder once again we sighed at same time witch was followed by laughter.

"ow ow…maybe its not a good idea to-" I was cut off as her soft lips pressed agents mines. what was I to do, pull back? No I couldn't, not now. Forcing myself up I kissed back. She pulled away quickly pushing me back.

"ow!" I complained falling back against my pillow.

"Jake, your wounded!" she snapped lying back down next to me." Now get some sleep…I'll be here in the morning". Once again I couldn't fully believe her, yet the only way to find out was to wait. Closing my eye I followed her directions, and headed off deep sleep.

**.:Once again I'm sorry****for making you wait. But hey! I made it longer!:.**


	6. last night

**.:for those who are reading I do not own twilight nor the rest of the saga. Also, if any of you have thoughts about story on how it should continue or how it should end. Please fill free to tell me. This Whole chapter is Bella speaking just to let you know. Enjoy the writing and don't forget to review:.**

**Chapter six…**

**Bella's PROV.**

Was it wrong to feel more for my friend then the love of my life? I wanted to feel guilty for what I had felt, but being here in the arms of Jacob made me _free _from negative emotions. I continued to run my fingers on his chest feeling the faded scars that were still healing. His breathing went back to normal, making me more comfortable. I thought about Edward for a moment as I stared out the window. The trees whistle softly as Jacobs light snoring continued. Everything was so quiet and relaxing that I couldn't help but fall asleep as well. The cool wind blew in but I didn't mind since I was surrounded by Jacobs warmth. There was no need for a blanket or even a thin sweater. All I needed was for him to embrace me. Minutes passed turning into hours, yet I was to tired to wake up. No more nightmares, or anyone here to force me up. Another hour past, but I stayed asleep.

"…Bella?…Bella, your fathers on the phone…" my eyes suddenly opened as I remembered Charlie. I looked over to find Billy sitting in his wheelchair by the door.

"What…what time is it?…" I asked a bit slow. He looked over his watch on his left hand and sighed a bit.

"six-ish…should I tell him your staying over…or…" He trail off placing his hands back on the wheels. Remembering that Edward was the one who dropped me off, I realized I had no ride home. Jacob was sleeping and he really needed the rest. And Billy was the last person I would ask seeing the condition he was in. But then I thought about what I had told Jacob. That I would be here in the morning, when he would wake up. I knew I would Worry Edward, but I couldn't break my promise.

"…is it alright if I stay the night? I'll sleep on the couch…" I said moving away Jacobs hand from around my waist. He flinched a bit, making me freeze for a moment. Once he sighed I continued to move getting up and leaving the bed. I was surprised to see him still sleeping, Guess he was real tired.

"Sure Bella, I'll let you dad know then get you a blanket and pillow". Billy was like a second dad to me, though we never really talked. Looking back at Jacob I smiled, and made my way out the door closing it softly behind me.

"Bella, would you like something to eat? There's a pair of Jacobs sweat pants on the couch along with the blanket and pillow. Thought maybe you would want something comfortable to wear other then a pair of jean". Billy came rolling down the hall and into the kitchen. I smiled lightly.

"Sure, whatever is fine with me, and thanks'" I replied Turing into the living room. There on the couch lied a navy blue blanket folded neatly and a white pillow on top. Grabbing the sweat pants I headed to the bathroom. It was small but it didn't matter. The sweat pants where way to long, I had no choice but to roll them up a few times. Once I was finished I headed to the kitchen with my jean in my hand. seeing Billy at the table I smiled.

"hey! Thanks for the sweat. They were a bit big, so I rolled them up."

I took a seat across from him tapping my finger as I looked around. They had a small house, yet it was cozy and easy to get used to.

"no problem bells. I hope you like steak, us blacks are big meat eaters" he joked chuckling afterwards. I laughed as well smelling the food as it filled the air.

"smells good," I said pulling my feet onto the chair. Billy tried to get to the stove but I stopped him.

"Here let me do it…" I said. Grabbing two plates of the counter we began to eat.

Billy went off to bed, while I stayed to clean the dishes. It was the least I could do.

Once I was finished I went to the living room to get some more sleep. As much as I wanted to go in Jacobs room I didn't. without him I was cold once again. I snuggled into the thick blanket, smelling the earthy scent. It wasn't long till I fell asleep.

**Jacob's PROV**

Starring at the white ceiling, I thought about last night. Bella was still here. Here sweet addicting smell filled the air. It was so fresh. My body still ached especially my ribs. I winced at the pain as I sat up, holding my hand over the faded bruise. It was quiet, meaning Billy was still asleep. I stood up and made my way out my room. The air was cool and the scent of steak faded off._ they must have eaten dinner without me yesterday… _I thought to myself. I looked in the living room, seeing innocent Bella sleeping peacefully on the couch. I smiled slightly

Ignoring the pain that shot through me after every step I took I kneeled in front of her.

"do I really want to wake…" I muttered resting my head on the edge of the couch. I waited a few more minutes before waking her.

"….Bella?…." I whispered pulling the blanket down from her face. "Bella, wake up…."

He eyes slowly opened, as a smile appeared on her beautiful face. I smiled back yet it faded after a few seconds.

"Jacob?…What,…what are you doing up?…" she asked as she sat up. She was still concern, making me smile a bit. Getting up from my knee's I sat near her feet. I flinched at the pain that shot through me with every bit of movement I made.

"I'm fine…just a bit swore…" I replied forcing a smile to cover the pain. I leaned back turning my head to face her. The sun was bright as it made its way through the windows.

"Bella I have to ask you something…" I said my smile going strait. I stared into her eyes wondering if that _kiss_ was actually real. Bella looked away from me and sighed.

"…its,…its about last night isn't it?". her voice was with nothing but guilt. "…I wasn't…I'm not…" She paused then finished with a sigh.

"…yeah I thought so…" I spoke clenching my teeth afterwards. From the corner of my eye I noticed she was starring at me, yet I didn't turn to look at her. It was quiet for a moment, nothing but wind and the shaking of leaves. I couldn't take it any more. Standing up I held my side.

"…maybe I should go home Jake, you need-" I shook my head, cutting her off mid sentence.

"its fine Bella… you hungry? I can make breakfast?" I ignored everything that had happen, about the kiss and the fight. It was nothing, so why make it a big deal."…well?"

I looked over my shoulder seeing her nod as she got up. I continued to walk toward the kitchen, listening to the blanket as it dragged along the floor. I wasn't in the mood to make something big, it was still early. Instead I decided to make cereal. We stayed silent as we ate, starring at each other as time passed. The only sound that was made was the crunching of the cereal. I looked away toward the table finishing off the last couple of bites.

"…Jake…" A soft voice called out. I looked up seeing Bella with her bowl completely empty. "…can I have more?…". I couldn't help but smile. Getting up I took her bowl.

"…how was the couch?" I asked making more for her.

"it was nice…no nightmares…".

I looked over my shoulder, wondering what she meant by that. I handed her the bowl of cereal throwing mines in the sink.

"nightmares…" I repeated lifting a brow as I took the seat next to her.

"I've been having these nightmares for the past couple of days…." She said it as if it was no big deal. Resting my head on the table I watched her eat. When she was finished, I decided to take her home, knowing her 'Leach' would be worried. We stayed silent for the whole ride, yet once we pulled up in front of her house we began to speak up.

"Well…guess I'll see you…" I trailed off not knowing when I was going to see her. A Few days, a few weeks. Who knows maybe a month . As long as that vampire was still around. There was really no way to stay in contact with her.

"…wont be long… I promise " she said before getting out. My noise wrinkled as the smell of vampire came. "Damn bloodsucker…." I growled as I started the engine once again and left.


	7. whats inportant

**.:sorry for the wait, like I said my computer…but any way's I do not own twilight nor the rest of the saga. Feel free to tell me you ideas on how the story should continue or end. Enjoy!:.**

**Chapter seven**

**Bella's PROV**

"Hey your home how did things go?" Charlie asked with a slight smile. I shook my head and ran up the stairs leaving him lost and confused. Slamming my bedroom door I cracked. I slid my way to the ground slowly, unsure of what to do or feel once Edward came. That kiss was a mistake, yet it felt _right_. His warm touch, his soft words… it all felt just _right_. Holding back the tears, I sat there. Starring out the window in nothing but silence. Guilt ran through me, making me sick from the core. The thought of Edward's beautiful face reminded me why I was still alive. Yet something totally different, and so familiar craved for Jacobs love. crawling toward the bed I pulled out the old shoe box. Holding it close a cold breeze flew in.

"…What did he do?" Edwards voice was full of anger, yet he had it backwards. It wasn't what Jacob did it was what I did. And just him, but them. I shook my head looking up to the ceiling, as I held in my tears."…nothing… he didn't do nothing." I whispered. "…its me. Its what I did."

"Bella love…what is it?" Edward moved closer, picking me up with from the ground. He placed me gently on the bed brushing my hair out of my face. A vicious chill ran up my back, making me shiver a bit. He leaned in and kissed me with caution. I kissed him back and began to go over the line. Wrapping both arms around his neck I leaned in further, pushing him, pushing myself. Edward continued to kiss me, gripping my waist a bit harder.

My fingers tangled in his hair as his did to mine. Everything was so perfect, but a big piece was missing. A part of me wanted something else. And that part of me grew and grew, Dragging me to what it desired. And that something happened to some one…_Jacob…_

I pulled away quickly as his face appeared in my thoughts.

"Bella what is it?" Edward asked confused by me actions. As much as I wanted to kiss him and go over board. The thought of my best friend held me back. I shook my head brushing my hand through my hair.

"Nothing just gasping for air…" Giving me a moment Edward starred, as if he was trying his best to read my thoughts. Looking up at him I smiled weakly. His fingers ran along my cheek bone as he smiled back. _'…I'm sorry…'_

I couldn't hold my tears back any longer. One after another they fell. His smile slowly faded, making a strait line across his face. I quickly cleaned my face, taking a deep breath in then sighing afterwards.

"…so how did…what happen? With the vampires?" I asked ignoring the pain that I caused for every one else including me. Edward dropped his eyes to the ground before looking at me again. It was defiantly bad.

"…we killed half of them…but it seems the others got away. There more likely to come back with a"

"…bigger army…" I finished Edwards sentence as my eyes widen. No doubt they would come back. To fight once again.

"Alice hasn't seen it yet…so we're not sure…"

"I have to warm Jacob… I have to warn those on Quileute land" I say almost shouting.

I stood up as well as Edward.

"Bella please, let us handle it. Until we know for sure if there coming back you must keep tell no one"

"But Jake, he's still-"

"I know…I know…" Slowly Edward sat me back down, waiting for me to relax and calm down. " But its best to wait. We don't want to worry them if we're not sure. Now get some rest please…"

I nodded once turning off the light next to my bed. Edward tucked me in and began to sing my lullaby. But no matter how much I wanted to ignore what was going on, and sleep for the day, I was too afraid. Especially for _Jacob._

**Jacobs PROV.**

I headed over to Emily's, hoping to get some details on what happened with the bloodsuckers. I felt bad for being the one to ditch. Luckily no one got hurt other then me.

Sam walked out the front door of the small house wearing nothing but a pair of gym shorts and a black muscle shirt. I cocked my head as I continued to walk.

"Hey, you alright?" he asked noticing the faded bruise. I nodded and smiled a bit.

"yeah, us wolves heal fast you know,…just a little swore but ill be fine." I responded as he led me inside. "So how'd it go? I see the leaches showed up. Or at least that's what I smelled".

We took a seat at the small table, feeling like giants once again. Looking back at Sam I noticed his face got serious.

"They were big help Jac-" I cut him a bit mad.

" The only reason he came was because of Bella!"

"fine whatever, but we have a bigger problem other then yours. Not All of them died. Some of them got away, we're not sure where they went but it would be beast to keep a look out. Your now going to run two shift. Got it"

Great two shifts, just a bit what I needed. Rolling my eye I sighed. "fine"

"good, you'll be doing mornings. Once your _completely _healed we'll move you to nights or afternoons."

Emily came walking through the doors with a bright smile." Hey same,…Jacob. Are you guys hungry?" She asked in her best mood. Walking over to kitchen she began to wash her hands. " sure dinner sounds good Hun" Sam answered kissing her cheek. Man how I wish I could do that. Especially with Bella…my _Bella_


	8. a monsters fear

**.:I do not own twilight nor the rest of the saga. Feel free to tell me you ideas on how the story should continue or end. Enjoy!:.**

**Chapter Eight…**

**Jacob's PROV.**

Waking up at five in the morning every day for then past three days, was exhausting but a wolf had to do what a wolf had to do. My wounds were completely healed and today was my last day doing morning. I ran near the boarder that separated Quileute lands with the rest of forks. It was hard to concentrate with Bella on my mind. As much as I adored her, fear of getting hurt stopped me from feeling more. I stopped for a while, shaking off my rusty colored pelt. No sign of blood suckers showed which worried me the most. The sun was completely up and I had only one more lap to go.

Once I finished I headed back home. Quil and Embry had stopped by along with Leah and Seth. I made my way toward my room throwing on a pair of jean shorts and a T

"…hay Jake, seen Bella lately?" Seth bugged as he sat on the porch.

"…your still chasing after her. Jakey, Jakey, Jakey, When will you learn. She's with that leach for crying out loud!" Leah complained.

"give it a rest Leah…go annoy some one other them pack" I argued making my way to the shed. I wasn't in the mood to talk. All I wanted to do was sit around and think.

There was something suspicious about the new born leaches. They were hear for a reason, yet I hadn't figured out that part. I sat in the drivers seat of my Volkswagen rabbit _classic_ I thought and began to clean the oil and dirt off my tools. A familiar smell hit me, making me freeze. She said she would visit as soon as possible, but I never thought it would be this soon. I was thinking weeks maybe month, yet it was only four days. I shook my head and continued to clean.

"Nock knock…" a gentle voice spoke. Looking up from what I was doing, I dropped the tray of tools to the ground making it startle not just her but me as well.

"Damn it" I muttered bending down low to pick them up. Tossing the tray to the desk on the other side I stood straight up and smiled. "Uh hey."

Bell laughed a bit as she walked it. "hey…" the closer I walked to her the shorter she got making me smile even more. She was so tiny from my point of view.

"…I see you finally heal- Jake are you sick?" I looked at her confused not sure what she meant by that.

"…um no…why?"

"well you,…you look dead!"

" I've been running two shifts…mornings. But I'm being moved to nights."

"maybe you should take this time to get some rest…" I shook my head, now towering over her.

**Bella's PROV**

It was hard to keep eyes on his, every five minute I had to drop my head from looking up.

Rubbing the back of it I sighed.

"so what brings you here…" he asked. I shrugged not knowing the answer ether. Guess I just wanted to see him, that's all. It wasn't easy getting passed Edward over protective personality though.

"not sure…I just had the nerve to leave and come here…" I answered. It was the best one I had at the moment. Jacob walked around picking up things and here. I watched, making no movement or sound.

"…so did he tell you about the new borns? How most of them got away". I felt a bit better knowing that it wasn't necessary to lie to him. He must have found out from Sam.

"Yeah he told me…"

"okay what's really um Bella? You don't just come by unless there's wrong" Jacob turned to look at me his face serious at this point.

"Nothing, I guess… I don't know" I shook my head dropping my eyes to the ground." I guess I just wanted to see you. Check and see how you were doing" I wasn't sure if he was going to believe me. But it didn't matter because what I had said was true. Jacobs had been on my mind for a while, making me worry more and more each day. I thought maybe stopping by would help me relax. He chuckled at my answer and started to walk toward me again. Kneeling down he looked up.

"…well I'm. especially now that you're here. But I don't see how Cullen, let you leave."

" Edward wont force me to stay away. All he wants is for me to me safe and happy"

Jacobs face went serious again.

"And are you happy?…" I could answer that question ether. I was happy, yet at the same time I wasn't. "well" he continued with a soft and gentle voice.

"…yeah I am…" I lied faking a wide smile. His expression didn't change but mine did.

"…but I wouldn't be fully satisfied with having my friend" I added causing a warm smile to a pear on his face once again. I wanted to hug him, or even better kiss me the way he did a few days ago. The other half of me stayed quite letting my _true_ feeling for Jacob speak for a moment. With out a second thought, I through myself at him. Wrapping my tiny arms around his warm chest. I held on his shirt waiting for him to embrace me…but he didn't. why wasn't he hugging me back. Jacob pushed me off lightly, his soft lips in a strait line.

**.: sorry its short but I thought I might tease you for a while:.**


	9. its clear now

**.:I do not own twilight nor the rest of the saga. Fill free to send in you thoughts about how you think the story should continue or end. Don't forget to review. Enjoy!:.**

**Chapter nine…**

**Jacob's PROV.**

Starring in her eyes, I sighed. I was confused as much as she was. Lost by her action. Why was she hugging me all of a sudden? Especially at a moment like this? Dropping my hands off her tiny shoulders, they found hers.

"Bella…" I started off, watching as I played with her smooth fingers. "…What's,…what's with you?" My words were a bit harsh but that wasn't the point. From the corner of my eyes I noticed she was still looking at me.

"what? … Jacob I'm just glad to see you!" A smile formed on her face but it vanished as quickly as it appeared. "…You're my friend…aren't you" Once again she was confused.

" Of coarse Bells but lately…" I hesitated for a moment, but forced my self to continue. "…You've been acting like we're more. That kiss, wasn't just a kiss…it was some how _real_, yet you deny it. And now all of a sudden you coming over as if you vampire doesn't really matter…yet you tell me he does. Bella all I want to know is what's going on because I'm completely lost here" I loosed my grip as I held her hands, moving away my eyes from hers. It was silent for a moment, but then soon…she spoke.

"…To tell you the truth Jake…I really don't know…" Her voice was filled with guilt and the way she said it showed that she was really telling the truth. For the first time in a long time I actually had the nerve to believe her. She looked away just when I looked at her.

"…What's wrong?" I asked pulling her inside the garage. She took a seat in the rabbit and kept her gaze away from mine. I was unsure what to expect at the moment. Bella shook her head slightly as she began to play with my thumb.

" You love me right?!" I asked with a confident tone. She nodded again. "Then why are you trying to hide it?! Bella look at me…you know damn well, how much you mean to me"

"I-I know but…"

"But what!" The smell of her salty tears tickled my noise. I wasn't trying to hurt her or make her cry, I just wanted to know what the hell was going on and why she was acting the way she was. It scared me to think that she _didn't _want to love me.

"Is it because of who I am, because I can change…or is because of _what_ I am?…Bell-"

"No Jake! Its not because who or what you are!" She snapped cutting me off. Her voice cracked and her tears ran down faster. She kept her face hidden from mine, and it bugged me. Kneeling down, I took a hold of her chin, forcing her to look at me. Her eyes were pink and puffy, yet she was still beautiful. "…Hey…" I whispered wiping away her tears that stain her rosy cheeks. I smiled wide placing my other hand on her cheek to clean the other side.

**Bella's PROV.**

I was forced to smile back, how was I not to? His warm touch took the pain away. I've searched my heart over many, many times, but couldn't find the answer. And now…sitting here in front of him, every thing seems to be so clear…and pain free. The reason I was unable to let go of what I thought seem to be easy…was because I had built my world around him. And leaving him or even forgetting him would only hurt me worse.

"…Al I wanted to do…or what I thought…was to let go. But now I see…" I whispered gripping his hands. "…Jake I love you… which is why I need you to stay…which is why I need to stay!" My tears began once more yet I continued to smile. "…With out you…I'm simply _cold…" _Standing up, Jacob pulled me into a hug, making me cry even more. I held on to him once again, yet this time he did too.

"I swear! I never meant to do this…put you through this kind of pain"

"Shhhh… Stay with me Bella…don't let me go…stay with me…just stay with me…" He whispered kissing the top of my head afterwards. I nodded breathing in his earthy scent. Pulling me closer to his chest I held on tighter. I planned on holding on…now that I was with him. things seemed to be…_warm _again and whole. It began to rain, yet neither of us let go, or even tried. We stayed silent, letting the rain and thunder speak for itself. The power quickly went out, yet the lighting kept us seeing. Never would I force my self to think something beyond what I felt. Jake was the one I _felt _And Edward was what I thought.

"Bella…" he whispered softly, yet he continued to hold me close.

"…huh.."

"…I love you…always did…always will…". I smiled at his words enjoying the quiet moment.

"….I love you too…from now on…" I replied. He chuckled and stroked my hair. I looked up at him, pecking him on the lips then smiled.

"What was that for…" he asked rubbing his noise against mine.

"…want me to take it back?" I asked teasing.

"…no…but it would be nice if you would repeat it" I giggled and did what he asked, but instead of a peck, it was more of a long…sweet, first kiss. The one were everything you ever wanted or dream about was _nothing. _Jacobs hands ran up my back making me shiver in excitement. He cupped my face kissing me with more passionate. Our mouths open slightly giving us a chance to breath in one another. Nothing mattered to us any more. Nothing but each other. It felt good to kiss him. My Head was screaming at me, telling me to do what It craved for. I couldn't hold on longer. Pulling my arms from around him, I placed the on his shoulder pushing him into the self behind him. He didn't bother to stop, just continued. His hands dropped from my face and went to my back. I struggled to keep myself under control…

**.:….to be continued…:P:.**


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